Face Sitting: How To Benefit from the Oral Intercourse Place

Face Sitting: How To Benefit from the Oral Intercourse Place


TikTok has a manner of shedding mainstream mild on sexual pursuits and practices that may in any other case be deemed area of interest. Simply take spit play, for starters, which includes embracing spitting as an erotic act; or, having a breeding kink, which entails feeling turned on or aroused by intercourse acts that might end in being pregnant. One other kinky sexual apply to achieve notoriety on the app as of late? Face sitting, or “queening,” which is an oral intercourse place that’s… simply what it feels like.

Whereas the apply was once engaged in largely by lovers of fem-dom/sub relationships throughout the BDSM group, social media factors to its far broader attraction. The hashtag #facesitting has over 1,000,000 views on TikTok with movies on the subject racking up lots of of 1000’s of likes. Beneath, you’ll discover skilled insights on face sitting together with the origins of the apply, why you would possibly need to incorporate it into your intercourse life, and precisely the right way to attempt it.

What’s face sitting?

“Face sitting, or queening, refers to a sexual place the place one companion positions themselves in order that their genitals or anus are above their companion’s face,” says sexologist Lilith Foxx. It may be included as a part of foreplay or be the primary sexual exercise.

As a result of face sitting includes one companion being positioned bodily on prime of the opposite, it may also be utilized in BDSM play, the place the individual on prime performs the dominant position, says intercourse educator Niki Davis-Fainbloom, MA. And within the BDSM group, that individual has historically been one with a vulva, therefore the gendered time period of “queening.”

However, anybody of any gender id or organic intercourse could be on prime and be the extra dominant companion. Or, face sitting doesn’t have to incorporate the facility play element in any respect, says Davis-Fainbloom. “Typically, it will probably simply perform as a distinct oral intercourse place to attempt.”

What are the origins of this sexual act?

As famous above, face sitting originated inside a BDSM context and “highlights the eroticism of the ‘throne’ metaphor, with the sitter embodying the determine of energy,” says Foxx.

Although it’s rising in recognition now, face sitting is a centuries-old apply. “Its roots are in cis-gendered feminine dominance and male submission dynamics courting again to a minimum of Victorian occasions when the time period ‘queening stool’ was used for a specifically designed piece of furnishings facilitating this act,” says Foxx. (Consider a stool with a gap within the seat.)

“It’s extra about embodiment and empowerment and has nothing to do with genitalia.” —Niki Davis-Fainbloom, MA, intercourse educator

However once more, regardless of its fem-dom roots, queening is now not restricted to any explicit gendered set-up. “It’s extra about embodiment and empowerment and has nothing to do with genitalia,” says Davis-Fainbloom.

Through the years, face sitting has additionally discovered a following amongst those that have kinks that don’t contain energy play. “Some folks benefit from the breath play or the degradation play that may include the bodily act of being smothered [during face sitting],” says Foxx.

Why it’s possible you’ll need to sit in your companion’s face for oral intercourse

There are a handful of psychological and bodily the explanation why the apply of face sitting generally is a pleasure-enhancing addition to your intercourse life, because it caters to quite a lot of sexual pursuits and relationship dynamics.

From a psychological standpoint, there’s the potential for horny energy play famous above, which could be thrilling for a lot of, says Foxx. Each the receiving and the giving companion could be ready of energy, relying on how they need to body their expertise. “There is a very distinct distinction in play between the receiving companion saying, ‘Get beneath your queen’s throne and repair her, slave!’ and the giving companion saying, ‘Sit down on this seat, and let your Grasp use you to his need,’” says Foxx.

On the bodily aspect of issues, face sitting may permit the receiving companion to manage the tempo, strain, and space of stimulation, which might improve pleasure, says Foxx. That may be particularly helpful for folks with vulvas, provided that stimulation of the clitoris, particularly, typically facilitates the best, quickest path to orgasm. “Due to the potential for strain [on the clitoris] with face sitting, the place may help activate the nerve endings and supply extra pleasure,” says Davis-Fainbloom.

Additionally, face sitting is an excellent oral intercourse place for folks with disabilities or who’ve issue shifting into sure positions. “All that the [giving partner] must do is lie down and use their tongue,” says Davis-Fainbloom.

Another reason why it’s possible you’ll need to add face sitting into your sexual repertoire? It is an effective way to modify issues up and check out one thing new, provides Foxx. Analysis reveals that individuals in long-term relationships who make an effort to have interaction in novel sexual actions collectively have greater relationship satisfaction ranges than those that don’t.

Easy methods to attempt face sitting for the primary time, based on intercourse consultants

For those who’re interested by attempting queening with a companion, step one is to speak about it. “Open communication about consolation, boundaries, and pursuits is important,” says Foxx. Have a dialog at a time whenever you’re not about to have intercourse (or within the midst of getting intercourse), in order that there isn’t any strain in your companion to attempt one thing new within the second, and you may each freely give consent.

Language and terminology can also be necessary to contemplate throughout this dialog. Whereas face sitting is commonly referred to as “queening” within the context of BDSM, you and your companion actually don’t want to make use of this time period explicitly or in any respect (whether or not or not you are planning to incorporate energy play). If the time period does not attraction, it’s a good suggestion to debate upfront what gender-neutral phrases you would possibly use as an alternative; this information to non-binary names for doms and subs by sexologist Sunny Megatron is a good place to begin.

One other factor to contemplate is security. Safewords—which denote when a companion wish to pause or cease a sexual scene or act—are important within the BDSM world, and they are often simply as helpful throughout any sexual exercise, particularly one which’s new to you and/or a companion. As a result of the giving companion may not be capable of communicate throughout face sitting, you might also need to determine on a non-verbal possibility. “Non-verbal alerts, like a faucet or squeeze on the leg, could be agreed upon to speak when the beneath companion wants a break or a change,” says Foxx.

As for the face sitting itself, you too can experiment with completely different angles and positions to determine what works greatest for you and your companion. “Relying on the bodily stimulation desired, the companion on prime might need to hover barely, or if they’ve a penis, they may select to raise one knee as much as stability,” says Foxx.

Additionally, if the receiving companion (who shall be positioned on prime) has a incapacity, it may be helpful to contemplate a bit of intercourse furnishings like a queening chair; there are numerous completely different choices out there that may assist make face sitting simpler on the knees and hips. “If companions are enjoying on a mattress, the individual receiving oral stimulation [who can kneel atop the giving partner] may make the most of pillows and cushions to alleviate strain on the knees and shins, and elevate themselves if the companion giving the oral stimulation wants more room or airflow,” says Foxx.

Easy methods to make sitting in your companion’s face extra comfy and pleasurable

For those who really feel hesitant to attempt face sitting (because the individual on prime) due to the physique positioning and the attitude it is going to grant your companion, know that you just’re not alone. Foxx says this can be a frequent and legitimate insecurity, particularly amongst those that have poor physique picture—however it actually doesn’t imply it’s best to hold your self from experiencing the potential pleasures of this intercourse place.

One technique to make the expertise extra comfy is to counsel that your companion be verbally encouraging as they interact. “It may be useful for the companion giving oral stimulation to affirm and reward the companion [on top] who’s to obtain,” says Foxx.

One other concept? You may work your manner as much as the complete face sitting expertise (quite than diving proper in) by experimenting with different comparable intercourse positions first. “The 69 place [where one partner lies on top of the other, facing the opposite direction, and both partners give and receive oral] can present comparable sensations and energy play and generally is a great way for the individual on prime to get their thoughts off of being the main focus of consideration by stimulating their companion concurrently,” says Foxx, including {that a} variation of 69 the place each companions lie on their sides may also be a great one to attempt.

“Face sitting is for everybody—no matter gender, dimension, anatomy, or sexuality,” says Foxx. So long as you and your companion set up clear consent and non-verbal methods to speak all through the expertise to make sure consolation, you possibly can chill out and benefit from the pleasure that queening affords, whether or not you’re giving or receiving.


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